Vivaldi Park: Ocean World

Vivaldi's Park's Ocean World is amputated to its indoor facilities during the winter from its floundering state as an aquatic metropolis during the summer months. After skiing for days in layers of dry-fit, fleece, and ski gear made to dissolve any semblence of womanly form and transform its wearer into a giant marshmallow, I wanted to wear as little as I could get away with (in Korea, that's not much). The added bulk and limited range of movement of being in ski clothes helped me to empathize with gavaged ducks fattened only to have their liver harvested for foie gras. Waddle waddle.


And though I shed my duckly form, even Ocean World incarcerated sexiness with their swimming cap mandate. I heard that this has to do with keeping the facilities hygenic, which I really can't support until I see someone invent a cork for those tempted to deposit their urine into the hair-free waters. Even Alessandra Ambrosio couldn't make this du-rag look anywhere near the range of sexy.

The actual waterpark as it exists in the winter can offer fun-filled adventures for 20 minutes max. There are massage jets (who wants to know what it feels like to get hosed down with a fire hose?), a small lap pool, a play area, an artificial river, a wave pool, tubes, and water rides - lots of attractions to perk your curiosity, but the whole experience is like buying a cat every new-fangled toy at Petsmart only to discover its perfectly happy with a crumpled wad of paper. The hot tub was my wad of paper. I just wanted to deposite my tired body into a vat of bubbly, hot water, which brings me to the "spa" at Ocean World.

At the spa", hot tubs can be rented for a mere 10,000 won per hour. You get a private room with a mini-garden, a panoramic view of Ocean World below, and a glorious hot tub. It's pretty much the greatest thing that's ever happened to me in 2010.